fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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