You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
