We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
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We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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