I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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