My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
