he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
