Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
