His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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