If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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