Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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