Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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