guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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