just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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