Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you told grandpa to call you daddy
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
