ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
