I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
We need to rekindle our bromance
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
