wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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