Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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