I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
