so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
