singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize