so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
