I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize