if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
this hospital has no fireball
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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