yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
bring money and cleavage
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
