we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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