It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
