You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I skipped work to stalk him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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