Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I woke up under a house in Key West
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