there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
