Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
