I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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