wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
