I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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