Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
