So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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