Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
