we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
