why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
