who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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