Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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