A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
