Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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