listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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