You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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