They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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