Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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