So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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