It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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