why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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