3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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