I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We smell like vodka and hangover
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