he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
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