We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize