and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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