i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
