I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Ladies don't puke and tell
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize