i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Also, beer. Big fan.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
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