I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I need a beard to bite.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
