Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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