i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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